Surrendering Into The Unknown

By Lara Eisenberg
Universal mother, birth mother, divine mother, mother nature—call it whatever you may—she has tremendous power and force to transform  us.  After a 5-day meditation retreat – the theme of which was “The Transformation of Being” – I was able to tap into the mother energy deep inside me: a refuge where feelings of “I’m not good enough” cease to exist.  This ever-present refuge is a place of nurturing warmth, compassion, and unconditional love; all judgments fall away, and we surrender and accept the moment exactly as it is, without trying to change it, or wish things were different.   When everything is still, there is no escape from uncomfortable emotions, nagging thoughts, or unpleasant body aches, which may arise. The only choice is to invite them in and see what lies beneath.

For 4 ½ days, we meditated, engaged in philosophical discussion, and explored everything that was arising from our body or mind.  The most powerful experience I had of this was during a meditation accompanied by music.  The lyrics were a tribute to the Mother — that which gives birth to life.   All of my “I should be” or “I wish I was” melted away as I paid homage to and honored the essence of the divinity within me—a woman: emotional, fluid and sensual by nature.  I experienced myself not as loving but love itself—not as compassionate but compassion itself.  That became the lens in which I experienced each moment.   Excess thoughts dissolved into the nothingness in which they came, my breath was breathing me and ALL of life was beckoning me to see the truth of what I was. I  experienced myself as the eternal mother—a limitless, expansive embodiment of love and perfection—nothing to know, do, be or remember.

Integrative Restoration is based on the philosophy of Kashmir Shaivism, “kanchukas” or “sheaths” interfere with our inherent sense of psychological and spiritual well-being. By engaging in a practice of self-inquiry, we can begin to diminish our suffering and return to our true nature of well-being and balance.

The 5 kanchukas: When you are experiencing suffering, explore whether your attention is bound in one of these kanchukas, or misperceptions of reality.

The Kanchukas are: 

1)“I am a limited, separate and powerless doer. ”

2)“I am confused and limited in knowledge.” 

3) “I am lacking and incomplete.” 

4) “I am time-bound and aging.”

5)“I am contracted, limited in space.”

Do you feel constricted or contracted in your body or mind?

The picture below is my first attempt at Acro Yoga on the street with a stranger!!!  What an act of surrender!