Dr. Sue Morter, International Speaker and Master of Bioenergetic Medicine, says when we “intend” to do something, we begin the journey of tending inward. My intention in 2013 was to develop programs that supported girls and women in fully awakening their feminine essence. I created several programs and established a wellness program in a local charter school. In an effort to support the integrity of this vision, I continue to reflect and embrace the obstacles I face within myself.
I facilitate girls groups for preteens and teens at a local charter school. Most of the girls report feeling insecure, ugly, fat, not good enough, worry excessively about the fat on their body and often engage in self-injurious behavior to manage the difficult emotional states related to the internalized self-hatred. At the beginning of June, an attractive (from society’s viewpoint), slender, popular, outgoing 12- year old girl came to my office crying because she felt she was ugly and fat. Her self-hatred was alarmingly palpable. My heart hurt as I listened to the familiar voice I heard amongst peers in my youth. This pain—all too common to being female—is pervasive and entrenched in our society. Unfortunately, we carry it from girlhood to womanhood.
I decided, in addition to my girls groups, to offer an all-grade assembly to girls aged 11-14 addressing body image, self-esteem, inner beauty, self-care, and healthy relationships. I often see girls bullying, backstabbing, and betraying one another and the source of the tension is often a popular boy. With all of this information and my plan, I decided to “tend inward” and see other sources of the problem or areas to address. I thought about my experiences with former colleagues—90% being women. Comments have been made (by other women) to me that were quite objectifying and inappropriate. I addressed some of them and dismissed others, but each one impacted my heart and soul. These comments and continued objectification of one another keep us small and in competition with one another. As I journey deeper within, I experience a sadness—somewhat profound—at the loss of our sisterhood, love, support, and connection that is priceless. In order to change the future and trajectory of this grave dilemma we must tend within; to shift the patterning and relationship we have with ourselves and with one another. As we reclaim our own beauty and freedom as women, we lead the way for our girls.
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Thanks for inrndoucitg a little rationality into this debate.
You are welcome! Thank you for reaching out to me:)>
Wow. Just wow. This really resonates with me. “Bullying, Backstabbing and Betraying.” Such sad alliterations we females deal with. I would add one more “badmouthing” — the gossip that ruins reputations is horrendous. At my age, “Sisterhood” seems like a dying art to me and now from reading your wisdom, it’s clear that it’s erosion DOES begin at a young age and just continues to grow with us. Your work is hugely meaningful. I wish you could come to my daughter’s school. Thank you.
Thank you, Stephanie! Yes, I define girls “bullying” as gossip and exclusion. I’m committed to restoring sisterhood in girls and women all over the world!