I just returned from a 10-day silent Integrative Restoration retreat and wanted to share some of my experiences with you. I relished in the deep peace and relaxation that the retreat offered. Without the distractions and noise of every day life, the retreat offered the perfect environment for self-inquiry. iRest invites us to look deep within and inquire into the essence of who we are. Even though I have practiced iRest for many years, I continue to learn and grow from its fundamental practices and teachings.
During the retreat, my teacher Dr. Richard Miller, led us in an exploration of thoughts, emotions and body sensations and used them as pointers back to the peace, love and wholeness that we inherently are. We also examined how we may be living an inauthentic life in thought, word or deed thereby leading to disharmony in our being.
We were asked to reflect upon two self-inquiry questions which resonated very deeply with me. I invite you to contemplate these questions as well.
I. Am I safe with myself?
Do you welcome all of yourself: feelings, emotions, body sensation, etc.? If not, how can you invite more of yourself (that which has been abandoned, rejected or suppressed) with love and compassion? Consider the times that you engage in self-criticism (i.e. “I am not good enough,” “Women should…,” “Why am I sad again?”, “Why is this pain still in my body?” and use each moment to hold yourself with tenderness and compassion.
II. As I let go of the illusion of control, what wants to come out of hiding as a vulnerable human being and as something deeper?
As vulnerable human beings, feelings of insecurity, fear and shame need to be seen, expressed and held tenderly before these feelings can be let go. This process reveals the beauty and true intimacy that lies beneath.
I realize what life is wanting from me in this and every moment is to live in full expression in every moment! iRest continues to strengthen my pot, which holds the soil together. I hold the space as the plant grows towards the heavens while rooted deep in the earth. If this is not grace, then I do not know what is.
I’d like to share some words with you that were written in a period of about 5 minutes, immediately following a meditation. These words were my full expression of where I am in my life as a woman and as a spiritual being. I have NEVER written a poem before and can only believe it was born from grace.
The Awakened Goddess
There once was a time when the goddess reigned supreme
In this place she was held in such high-esteem
I was she and she was I
But something unforeseen happened and we had to say goodbye
From that day forward a deep longing lived inside
To find her again and never leave her side
I prayed, I chanted, I danced and I cried
And promised to never, EVER again hide
She yearns and longs to deeply to express
And to feel and enjoy EVERYTHING under her dress
The years of conditioning left a big hole
But today my awakened goddess fills my soul
I’ve finally stopped worrying whether I’ll say something clever
Instead I look inside and seek her great pleasure
Now we joyously play, love, chant and dance
I thank god and goddess for this great second chance
My invitation to you as woman or man
Is to awaken the goddess within AS SOON AS YOU CAN!
Much of this newsletter was taken directly from my journal entries from the retreat. I hope that you found a sense of community and truth in what was shared with you.
With love, Lara.
