Sex sells. I DON’T want to sell mine. I want to RECLAIM it.
Does my journey to reclaiming my femininity HAVE to include a man rubbing his backside against my body as an invitation to dance with him? What about a man touching my waist and hips as he passes by me on the dance floor?
This past weekend, I felt the unsolicited touch of a strange man, not one man, but three and three different times. The violation–the feeling of someone taking away my right to feel, to exist and to express all of my humanity—is an experience that few men can relate to. Why does a woman’s full expression and embodiment give men permission to treat her like a commodity. As if she’s something for him to conquer and use for their own pleasure.
A part of me enjoyed the attention, the desirability, but the greater part of me knew something was being taken from me and I DID NOT GRANT ANYONE PERMISSION! The anger that surfaced (thank god for anger which helps us set boundaries) and my body’s voice beckoned me to stand for myself and set a clear and firm boundary in a situation that appeared “benign.” It appeared “benign” b/c it has become the norm in many settings and cultures.
My most powerful means to feel embodied, access the inherent beauty and perfection of my erotic creature and femininity is through dance. In this place, I embody my sensual self, my power, my voice, my emotions and my truth. I fully delight in every beat and rhythm pulsating through my body. In dance, I surrender and feel the esctasy of being an embodied, sensual female.. And this past weekend, I had the opportunity to feel this place. …..until I was taken out of it…..
Societal, religious and familial conditioning has taught me—and all women and men–that a women’s value is contingent upon her desirability to a man, her sexual desirability for that matter.
But this creates a conundrum. If a woman wants to reclaim her sovereignty and sexuality, how can she do so without falling prey to the idea that in order to be loved and valued, she has to sexually desirable. How can she distinguish between whether her journey is about her reclamation of self or getting caught in the “beauty trap.” The only way to know is to explore the underworld…..what are the hidden motives and intentions? What is our shadow side? Are we afraid to look deeply at where we source our beauty and worth? Is our sexuality our own or does it belong to men?
Fortunately, I no longer shame or blame men. When men see women being objectified and sexualized in almost every form of media, it can be difficult for them to see beyond the body objectification into the heart and soul of a women. That’s why it’s the responsibility of all people-both men and women—to examine the false conditioning and exploitation of women. Ladies, let it being with us!
If sex sells for women, why doesn’t that apply in the same way to men? Find out here
To continue this journey and exploration, come join me for my upcoming workshops on April 24th from 2:30-4:00! To learn more click here
In Spirituality, Sexuality and Embodiment you will learn:
Ways to begin the journey to reclaim your voice and sexuality
Uncover the impact that female socialization has had on your own sexuality
Embrace a model of sexuality that connects with your physical, emotional, mental and spiritual self
Discover ways to improve self-image and body image
Learn embodiment practices and exercises